HOPE FILLED PORTION

HOPE FILLED PORTION

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."

Lamentations 3:24 (NASB)

Have you ever found yourself wanting something to happen so much that you become fixated on it?  You turn it this way and that way in your mind and even begin to imagine all the “what ifs” if it doesn’t happen?  It’s a bit like a dog gnawing a bone or worrying over his food dish…

“Do you dogs want breakfast?” Marc asked. 

Teddy and Gracie hurried to the hall closet where their containers of food are stored.  We measured their respective portions and we added water and stirred until a little gravy formed.  After all, who doesn’t love gravy?!  Teddy followed Marc and Gracie followed me, their tails wagging in anticipation.

Gracie and I reached the area where she is fed and she immediately sat down and lifted her gaze to my face.  I set her dish down at her feet, but her eyes never left my face.  She looked beautiful with her body perfectly upright, her graceful head turned upward, her eyes, hopeful.  I began counting in my head and when I reached the minute marker, I said the words she was waiting to hear, “You’re free.”  I didn’t need to tell her twice, as she immediately lowered her head and began to eat breakfast with great enthusiasm.

I headed to the dining room where Teddy sat waiting for Marc to speak those longed for words that would release him to eat.  I noticed that Teddy’s eyes were not fixed on Marc’s face.  Nope.  Not even a glance.  His eyes were fixed downward on his food dish.  Every muscle in his body was tense as he focused in on what he wanted. His head was bent downward and he began to drool.  Teddy didn’t look hopeful.  He looked worried.   When the time came, Marc said, “You’re free.”  Teddy dove into his food dish, devouring his breakfast and I wondered if he even tasted it as he gulped his food until it was gone.

It occurred to me that Gracie’s focus was on the provider while Teddy’s was on the provision.  Gracie’s focus inspired hope and a graceful demeanor of waiting; while Teddy’s caused him to be tense, drooling and bent in an unattractive, worried sort of posture.  A light seemed to come on in my heart as I hurried to talk to Him about it.

I arrived at the well a bit breathless as my words began tumbling out before I even sat down.  He listened intently as I described Gracie’s demeanor of waiting and Teddy’s posture of worry and how Gracie was focused on the provider and Teddy on the provision. 

“Lord,” I said excitedly, “people can be just like that.”  I waited for Him to join in the conversation about “those people”.  You know; the worried, bent ones with their focus in the wrong place. 

“I am your portion,” He said.

I felt His words touch my heart and I stilled beneath them as I waited there in the soft light of dawn.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

I recognized the words from Philippians 4:19 as they rumbled through my soul, causing me to recognize myself as one of “those worried, bent people.”

“Tell Me.”

I tucked my knees up under my chin and began to share with Him about the thing I hoped would happen and the what if thoughts that had crept in about what would happen if that thing didn’t happen.  I saw myself clearly then…

The eyes of my heart had focused in on the thing hoped for—the provision instead of the provider.  My demeanor did not inspire hope, but a heart bent and worried.  And was that drool? 

“Ugh!”

“I am your portion.  Hope in Me,” He said.

He spoke from His Word and my heart gladly nestled down in the pages as He continued to speak from Lamentations 3.

Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.20 Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me.21 This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.22 The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.24 "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.

Lamentations 3:19-25 (NASB)

He reminded me that He will supply all that is needed.  (Philippians 4:19)   He took my soul to task for focusing on the provision instead of He who is my provider.  “Fix your eyes on Me,” He reminded my often wandering, yet tender grandma heart in Hebrews 12:2.

“I am good to those who wait for Me, to the person who seeks Me. My compassion never, ever fails.  Open your eyes every morning and they are there, new for a new day.  My faithfulness is great—greater than your greatest, deepest need.  My lovingkindess never stops—not for a moment.  Seek Me.  Hope in Me. Wait for Me for I am good.”

A noise from outside caught my attention and I looked out to see the sun peering out from behind the early morning clouds as rain had begun falling.  The sunlight sparkled, causing the raindrops to glisten like twinkly lights. 

I turned my heart back toward Him as I began again to tell Him about the thing I hoped would happen.  This time, instead of focusing on the thing I hoped for, I turned my heart’s gaze upward to Him—away from the provision to my Provider.  I felt it—the change in my heart’s demeanor.  Instead of being bent, it was upright.  Instead of worried, hope filled. 

“Lord?”

“Yes?”

“Thank You for being my Portion.  My hope filled Portion!”

An Original Conversations at the Well

© Copyright by Diana Morgan, November 16, 2012