BROWN DOG ALERT

BROWN DOG ALERT
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.  Leviticus 19:18 (NASB)

            The trees lined the path, their ghostly silhouettes stretched like a canopy over us beneath a moonless sky.  Marc and I walked in comfortable silence as leaves crunched beneath our feet.  Our golden retriever, Teddy stopped to smell the flowers (not roses) that covered a lantana bush.  Suddenly Teddy lifted his head, the fur stood up on his neck, every muscle alert as he looked through the darkness.  My heart pounded as I wondered what was lurking in the dark that had Teddy on high alert.  I glanced at Marc and knew he was wondering the same thing.

            Teddy stood motionless, Marc and I waited; the very air seemed to hold its breath as the trees looked on the scene taking place beneath their stately boughs.  A twig snapped and that’s when we saw them; a man and his large dog.

            “It’s brown dog,” I said.

            Teddy and brown dog stared each other down.  A deep, growl rose up from Teddy as he stood his ground.  Brown dog bared his teeth and growled a warning in return.  The man jerked his dog to attention and made a hasty apology as he and brown dog disappeared into the darkness as quickly as they had appeared.

            “Who is brown dog?”  Marc asked as we resumed our walk while he patted Teddy’s head in a reassuring, masterly way.

            “Well,” I began, “when Teddy was 7-months old Elizabeth and I were walking him near the park.  Brown dog and his owner were coming toward us.  As we passed each other brown dog suddenly began growling and snarling and lunging at Teddy.  Teddy was but a puppy and didn’t quite know what to do about brown dog so he pressed his body against Elizabeth’s legs and waited for the scary brown dog with the big teeth and even bigger voice to pass by.

            “We didn’t see them again until several months later.  By then Teddy was more than a year old and fully grown.  Brown dog was on the opposite side of the street walking with his owner.  Teddy stopped, the hair on his back stood up and a deep growl erupted from deep in his chest.  Elizabeth had to work hard to keep him moving forward.  We haven’t run into brown dog again until this morning,” I finished.

            “Teddy, are you holding a grudge?”  Marc asked.  Teddy glanced up at his master with his soulful brown eyes.

Teddy is a gentle giant and very loving.  The grandkids lay on him and he in turn covers their sticky little boy faces with kisses.  He is so gentle with our new 3-month old granddaughter Lillian.  He kisses her chubby little feet and keeps watch over her.  He has a heart of gold.  Well…except for the dark corner reserved for brown dog.

Now we see the man and brown dog quite often.  We walk through the predawn darkness on opposite sides of the street, knowing the intense dislike these two have for one another.

In fact, we know when brown dog is within half a mile of us.  Teddy will suddenly increase his pace, sniffing the air, his muscles tense, his gaze focused.  There is no doubt what’s ahead, as Marc and I look at each other and simultaneously say, “Brown dog alert.”
Ever been there?  Ever had a “brown dog alert” of the human kind?  You are normally a good natured, easy going person.  There you are walking through your day, minding your own business, when out of the blue you spot them heading your direction.  You feel the knots form in your stomach as every muscle tenses and the memories flood back of what “that person” did or said.  Your eyes lock, each of you knowing but refusing to back down.  You exchange growls as you pass each other by.

The Lord and I were sitting at the Well recently having a conversation about this very thing.  I was reading in Genesis 27 about Esau and Jacob.  Jacob tricked his father Isaac into thinking he was his brother Esau and Isaac gave Jacob the blessing that belonged to Esau.  Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for some stew.

Verse 41 stopped me in my tracks as I read.  “So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him…”

I could hear my heart beating in the stillness as the Holy Spirit turned on the lights in the dark corner I had reserved for someone who had said harsh words to me.  The spot didn’t look very attractive as the Lord whispered through my soul in that voice that is still and yet thunders, shaking my soul awake, “So Diana bore a grudge because of…”

“Oh,” was all I could seem to say.   My mind was scrambling for words to explain why I was irritated when I saw this person.  But before I could say anything, the Lord had me reading His words found in Leviticus 19.  “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.”

Why was it so hard for me to forgive others when I had been forgiven for so much?  I looked at my heart where the darkness had once hidden the grudge I had borne, but darkness was as light to the Lord and the Holy Spirit’s light exposed it for the sin it was and I could not ignore it. I suddenly found myself at the foot of the cross.  He who loves perfectly was no longer hanging there because He is risen, yet I knew He had once hung there in agony and I knew He bore my sins there.  Tears stung my eyes as I heard Him say, “Father forgive her…”   I clung to the cross as His blood ran down the splintered surface, straight to my heart.  “Forgive me,” I whispered.

“It is finished,” He said.

The truth of His redemptive work through His death, burial and resurrection flooded my soul.  We sat in the coolness of morning for a long time, and I savored the sweet air of forgiveness that seemed to drench everything, bringing newness to my heart and my perspective.

“Thank you for showing me that I had a grudge lurking in the darkness of my heart—a brown dog alert of my own.   I bowed my heart in worship for a while longer and then I headed into the day.  There was someone I needed to talk to.  A smile touched my lips as I said, “No more ‘brown dog alert’ for me.”

My sweet friend, is there a “brown dog” in your life?  First confess it to the Lord.  1 John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  Then go find the one against whom you have been carrying a grudge and bring it into the light of day.  Even if they keep growling and snarling, you will find freedom.  You will find your daily walk much more enjoyable without bearing that grudge—no more “brown dog alert”!

An Original Conversations At the Well
© Copyright by Diana Morgan, June 29, 2012