BROWN DOG ALERT

BROWN DOG ALERT
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.  Leviticus 19:18 (NASB)

            The trees lined the path, their ghostly silhouettes stretched like a canopy over us beneath a moonless sky.  Marc and I walked in comfortable silence as leaves crunched beneath our feet.  Our golden retriever, Teddy stopped to smell the flowers (not roses) that covered a lantana bush.  Suddenly Teddy lifted his head, the fur stood up on his neck, every muscle alert as he looked through the darkness.  My heart pounded as I wondered what was lurking in the dark that had Teddy on high alert.  I glanced at Marc and knew he was wondering the same thing.

            Teddy stood motionless, Marc and I waited; the very air seemed to hold its breath as the trees looked on the scene taking place beneath their stately boughs.  A twig snapped and that’s when we saw them; a man and his large dog.

            “It’s brown dog,” I said.

            Teddy and brown dog stared each other down.  A deep, growl rose up from Teddy as he stood his ground.  Brown dog bared his teeth and growled a warning in return.  The man jerked his dog to attention and made a hasty apology as he and brown dog disappeared into the darkness as quickly as they had appeared.

            “Who is brown dog?”  Marc asked as we resumed our walk while he patted Teddy’s head in a reassuring, masterly way.

            “Well,” I began, “when Teddy was 7-months old Elizabeth and I were walking him near the park.  Brown dog and his owner were coming toward us.  As we passed each other brown dog suddenly began growling and snarling and lunging at Teddy.  Teddy was but a puppy and didn’t quite know what to do about brown dog so he pressed his body against Elizabeth’s legs and waited for the scary brown dog with the big teeth and even bigger voice to pass by.

            “We didn’t see them again until several months later.  By then Teddy was more than a year old and fully grown.  Brown dog was on the opposite side of the street walking with his owner.  Teddy stopped, the hair on his back stood up and a deep growl erupted from deep in his chest.  Elizabeth had to work hard to keep him moving forward.  We haven’t run into brown dog again until this morning,” I finished.

            “Teddy, are you holding a grudge?”  Marc asked.  Teddy glanced up at his master with his soulful brown eyes.

Teddy is a gentle giant and very loving.  The grandkids lay on him and he in turn covers their sticky little boy faces with kisses.  He is so gentle with our new 3-month old granddaughter Lillian.  He kisses her chubby little feet and keeps watch over her.  He has a heart of gold.  Well…except for the dark corner reserved for brown dog.

Now we see the man and brown dog quite often.  We walk through the predawn darkness on opposite sides of the street, knowing the intense dislike these two have for one another.

In fact, we know when brown dog is within half a mile of us.  Teddy will suddenly increase his pace, sniffing the air, his muscles tense, his gaze focused.  There is no doubt what’s ahead, as Marc and I look at each other and simultaneously say, “Brown dog alert.”
Ever been there?  Ever had a “brown dog alert” of the human kind?  You are normally a good natured, easy going person.  There you are walking through your day, minding your own business, when out of the blue you spot them heading your direction.  You feel the knots form in your stomach as every muscle tenses and the memories flood back of what “that person” did or said.  Your eyes lock, each of you knowing but refusing to back down.  You exchange growls as you pass each other by.

The Lord and I were sitting at the Well recently having a conversation about this very thing.  I was reading in Genesis 27 about Esau and Jacob.  Jacob tricked his father Isaac into thinking he was his brother Esau and Isaac gave Jacob the blessing that belonged to Esau.  Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for some stew.

Verse 41 stopped me in my tracks as I read.  “So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him…”

I could hear my heart beating in the stillness as the Holy Spirit turned on the lights in the dark corner I had reserved for someone who had said harsh words to me.  The spot didn’t look very attractive as the Lord whispered through my soul in that voice that is still and yet thunders, shaking my soul awake, “So Diana bore a grudge because of…”

“Oh,” was all I could seem to say.   My mind was scrambling for words to explain why I was irritated when I saw this person.  But before I could say anything, the Lord had me reading His words found in Leviticus 19.  “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.”

Why was it so hard for me to forgive others when I had been forgiven for so much?  I looked at my heart where the darkness had once hidden the grudge I had borne, but darkness was as light to the Lord and the Holy Spirit’s light exposed it for the sin it was and I could not ignore it. I suddenly found myself at the foot of the cross.  He who loves perfectly was no longer hanging there because He is risen, yet I knew He had once hung there in agony and I knew He bore my sins there.  Tears stung my eyes as I heard Him say, “Father forgive her…”   I clung to the cross as His blood ran down the splintered surface, straight to my heart.  “Forgive me,” I whispered.

“It is finished,” He said.

The truth of His redemptive work through His death, burial and resurrection flooded my soul.  We sat in the coolness of morning for a long time, and I savored the sweet air of forgiveness that seemed to drench everything, bringing newness to my heart and my perspective.

“Thank you for showing me that I had a grudge lurking in the darkness of my heart—a brown dog alert of my own.   I bowed my heart in worship for a while longer and then I headed into the day.  There was someone I needed to talk to.  A smile touched my lips as I said, “No more ‘brown dog alert’ for me.”

My sweet friend, is there a “brown dog” in your life?  First confess it to the Lord.  1 John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  Then go find the one against whom you have been carrying a grudge and bring it into the light of day.  Even if they keep growling and snarling, you will find freedom.  You will find your daily walk much more enjoyable without bearing that grudge—no more “brown dog alert”!

An Original Conversations At the Well
© Copyright by Diana Morgan, June 29, 2012

IN THE NIGHT WATCHES

IN THE NIGHT WATCHES
When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches…
Psalm 63:6 (NASB)

Night Watches

• to be alertly on the lookout, look attentively, or observe, as to see what comes, is done, or happens:
• to look or wait attentively and expectantly
• to keep awake, especially for a purpose; remain vigilant, as for protection or safekeeping: to watch with a sick person.

Ever notice how the night can seem to last forever when you are awake?  In those times it is good to talk with Him who never slumbers or sleeps.

The fan whirred overhead, the air conditioner hummed and Marc and our golden retriever Teddy snored.  My eyes were wide open as thoughts marched noisily around and around in my head dragging my heart along.  I knew there were verses in God’s Word that talked about nights like this and I tried to slip through an opening in my marching thoughts to find them but the thoughts wouldn’t stop and seemed to be picking up speed and my heart was being trampled.  Thoughts can be so, so thoughtless.

I tried to think about the disciples and what Jesus said to them when they were frazzled by endless marching needs and they didn’t have time to even eat.  Let’s see.  What was it He said?  Hmmm…something about coming away and a quiet place and rest.  I sat up knowing where I needed to go.  I grabbed my Bible and headed down the familiar hallway path to the Well leaving the whirring, humming and snoring behind, but my thoughts kept up their marching and surrounded me as I sat down at the Well.

My heart tried to see Him who never sleeps, but who could see anything through the dust of concern my marching thoughts were kicking up as they went.  Most of the marching thoughts had to do with a dear friend who was heart sick.  I wondered if she was awake in the night too.  It was too late to call.  Bother!

A childhood memory quietly emerged amongst all the marching and I peered through the worry dust to look more closely.

I was little and not feeling at all well.  I remember lying in bed wide awake.  The window was directly over my bed and I could see stars twinkling overhead from their bed of black velvet and I wondered how long the night would last.  My head ached with congestion and fever and it felt as if something heavy sat on my chest making it difficult to breathe.   I felt very small and alone surrounded by endless night.

I was suddenly aware of movement in the darkness.  I felt gentle hands on my brow.  I smelled Vicks as it was being applied to my chest and then covered by a warm cloth.  I heard rustling and then the vaporizer hummed to life, filling the room with steam.  I recognized the presence of my Mom as she sat on the bed and placed a cool damp cloth on my forehead.  It covered my eyes so I closed them.  In the darkness I was aware of my Mother’s sweet presence and the comfort of her touch that was balm to a small child.  I rested and soon a new day came with the dawn and chased away the night.

As I sat quietly at the Well His Words I had been trying to think of earlier came clearly.  They are from Mark 6:31 and I turned there and read the words quietly and then it seemed to me that He whispered them to my heart.

“Diana, come away with Me to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Startled, my heart looked around expecting to see Him, but all I could see were my marching thoughts.  I remembered His promise to the disciples when He was about leave them in Matthew 28.  He said, “I am with you always; even to the end of the age.”  I thought about His promise and knew that it was not only for His disciples then but for His disciples now, and it had not weakened with the years but was eternal.  That meant He was with me always—even amid noisy marching thoughts.  Though my heart still could not see Him, I decided to take Him at His Word.  I put my small hand in His nail-pierced one and went away with Him to His Word.  I turned to the Psalms like a familiar friend.

I read Psalm 63 in the soft glow of lamplight.  Verses 6 and 7 seemed to stand out as though He had marked them for me with His heavenly highlighter.

6 When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches,7 For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
Psalms 63:6-7 (NASB)

“I am the God of all comfort.” He took me and all my noisy, marching thoughts with Him to 2 Corinthians.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
2 Cor 1:3-5 (NASB)

Yes, my heart sick friend was certainly experiencing an abundance of sufferings.  As I so quickly began to worry again, wishing I could be with her and give her some words—strengthening words that would chase her night away, my thoughts became even louder and some were now going at a jog as marching seemed much too slow a pace.

“Be still!” His voice thundered through the night, my thoughts stopped in their tracks and fell at the feet of Him who was and is and is to come.

The night grew quiet as the dust of all my thoughts marching cleared away as I read again Psalm 63 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.  The words stirred on the page and in the stillness it seemed to me that gentle hands applied them to my heart and covered me with the warmth of His never leaving presence.  Suddenly I felt I could breathe easier and I wondered if there was a heavenly vaporizer that cleared the spiritual congestion from my soul.

I knew then that though I could not physically sit with my friend and offer her comfort at this moment, I knew the One who could.  A prayer rose up from the depths of my heart and as the words came it took the shape of a poem.  I wrote it down.

She sits shrouded in endless night
The darkness heavy against her chest
Abounding troubles they fill her life
Until she’s unable to find any rest

The darkness surrounds her on every side
She wonders if the night will ever end
Will dawn ever come casting its light
Rays of sunlight through the darkness send

There is a stirring in the darkness of night
And over her low Father of mercy does bend
Living Words He applies to her heart
Like a soothing balm brought by a friend

He whispers, “dear daughter, I am with you
Here in the darkness of night
I promise I am always here with you
I won’t let you out of My sight

I will sit with you in the night watches
Cover you with Gilead’s balm
I am the God of all comfort and mercy
My promises will your sick heart calm

My child the night won’t stay forever
In the first light of dawn darkness will run
In this world you will have trouble
But take courage the world I have overcome

But for now as you lay in the darkness
Your heart sick and hurting within your chest
Feel my presence and trust in my everness
In Me you will find comfort and rest

I sat awhile longer with the God of all comfort and felt His words cover me with their Truth balm and I knew now I would be able to sleep.  The Father of mercy and the God of all comfort was sitting across the miles with my friend.  She was surrounded with His presence – surrounded by His everness in the night watches.

An Original Conversations at the Well
© Copyright by Diana Morgan, June 23, 2012

TAKEN HOME

3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
John 14:3 (NIV)

Do you ever long for home? Let's face it, there are days when life is a battle. You find yourself trudging on a seemingly endless uphill climb—the dust of the world gets in your eyes until you can’t seem to see where the next step is. Your heart cries out for Home of the Heavenly kind.
As I was thinking these “home” thoughts I was reminded of my daughter who just three months ago gave birth to her first child. Lillian was three weeks early and as a precaution the doctor kept the two of them in the hospital for four days. She sat in the hospital while her husband Mike finished preparations for their homecoming.
Lillian's hospital home was a mixture of warmth and coldness. One moment she was swaddled in blankets and the next she was exposed and being subjected to more poking and prodding and needles and seemingly endless tests. The hospital was where Lillian was born and was all she had known since taking her first breath, but it was not her real home.
I wondered if her daddy comforted her with words and assurances that she would not be in that place forever. Did he paint a word picture of home? At the end of a test did he hold her near as she cried and whisper words of assurance that soon he would come and take her home? When Elizabeth felt as though she would never see home, did he remind her that the hospital dwelling place was only temporary? Did he whisper in the darkness of night that they belonged to him and soon he would come and take them home to be with him?
As I sat pondering, He whom my soul longs for arrived in the stillness and reminded me of words of assurance He spoke to His disciples. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
John 14:3 (NIV)
The words stirred on the page and I thought again about my daughter and Lillian when they were in the hospital. I remembered well the day Elizabeth called to tell me that they were going home. I could hear the joy in her voice as she told me the news.
“Who went to get them?” He asked.
The question startled me as I replied, “Mike did.”
“Why did he go? He could have sent someone to pick them up for him,” He said.
My heart looked up in surprise as I said, “They are his family so of course he went himself.”
“They belong to him?” He asked.

“Yes,” I replied as my imagination peered back to the day Mike arrived at the hospital. In my mind’s eye I could see his eyes dancing as he gathered up his precious wife and daughter to take them home.

“Why did he take them home?” He asked.

“Because he loved them and wanted them with him at home,” I finished.
The sun wasn’t up quite yet, but the eastern sky was beginning to stir as His voice poured through my soul like a thousand waterfalls. “If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

My heart nestled at His feet as His words took root in my heart. I thought about how this world is where I was born and is a mixture of hot and cold. One minute I am wrapped snugly in the knowledge and confidence of belonging to the Lord and the next the hands of this world have pulled the blanket away and I am being poked and prodded and seemingly undergoing endless testing until my heart cries out for home of the heavenly kind.

In the darkness I hear familiar steps and He wraps me in His arms—the everlasting ones, and whispers, “Daughter, you belong to me. I am preparing a place for you. And if I am preparing a place for you, I will come back for you. I won’t send a taxi or a band of angels or anyone else. I WILL come and take you so that you may be with Me where I am.”
As the mountains stood tall in the western sky, their peeks blushing pink as the sun touched them with the light of a new day, I wondered if today would be the day He would come for me. I left my place at the Well filled with thoughts of home of the heavenly kind, and the One who would come Himself to take me there because I belong to Him.

So as you walk through your day, your heart watching for Him expectantly; your ears listening for His voice and the sound of His footsteps, remember His promise to those who belong to Him. He said He would come and take you… I love that. It is hands on and personal. He didn’t say He would send someone to get you. He won’t just give you directions or tell you what to put into your GPS. No. He promised that He would come Himself. He promised He would take you Himself. If you are feeling poked and prodded and overwhelmed by seemingly endless tests of this world, remember His words. Remember His promise to you. Look up because today could be the day He comes for you, to take you with Him to the place He has prepared for you: Home!
An Original Conversations at the Well
© copyright by Diana Morgan, June 9, 2012

FACE TO FACE

12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV)

The house was quiet as a soft May evening stole through the windows, casting shadows about the living room. A coastal breeze ruffled the curtains as I sat in the chair rocking and humming a familiar lullaby as the baby in my arms slept.

I ran a hand through her silky hair and touched her cheek as I drank in every detail of her tiny face. My daughter sent me at least one picture every day, and I saved every single one of them. But as wonderful as the pictures were, they didn’t come close to the real thing—to actually seeing her in person.

She stirred in my arms and I placed her gently against my shoulder as I rocked. I could feel her breath soft as a whisper against my neck and I kissed her warm cheek, basking in “grandmaness”. Yes, face to face is much better than a picture, I thought to myself.

The phrase, “face to face” captured my attention and my thoughts wandered back to the ultrasound pictures my daughter sent me via a text message. I closed my eyes as I rocked and recalled how amazed I was at the clarity of the ultrasound picture. I studied the sweet profile, taking in every detail. My grandma heart fell in love that day with the sweet life nestled in my daughter’s womb.

I found a website that provided an overview of the baby’s growth through each week of pregnancy. My daughter and I talked several times a week and she would share what she was experiencing. I will never forget the day she called to share that the baby was a girl. My daughter and son-in-law chose the name Lillian. Days turned to weeks and weeks flowed into months as the baby grew and I spent my time getting to know as much as I could about my unborn granddaughter and preparing for the day she would be born.

It was early on a Thursday morning in March when the call came. “My water broke!” my daughter said excitedly.

I hung up the phone and began running in circles, accomplishing very little—the way grandma’s are known to do sometimes. Thankfully Marc was there to take matters in hand and he helped me get ready to go. A short time later the man God gave me leaned in the car window and prayed for me and for Elizabeth and Mike and the safe arrival of our granddaughter; then he kissed the end of my nose and sent me off to San Diego to be present in the labor and delivery room.

I got stuck in traffic on the freeway and then I went to the wrong hospital—who knew there was more than one hospital by the same name in the same city, but I finally arrived at the right place and was soon in the birthing room with Elizabeth and Mike.

At 4:58PM as Mike and I spoke words of encouragement to Elizabeth, she pushed again and Lillian emerged and gave a loud cry to let everyone know she had arrived. I could not find words for the emotion I felt at being there as this precious baby we had been waiting for came into the world. All of the reading, preparing and looking at ultrasound pictures paled in comparison to this moment. No longer did we have to rely on ultrasound images to see her—we were now face to face!

“You see her as she is.” My heart warmed to the sound of His voice as I my thoughts returned to the here and now.

His words were familiar and He reminded me that I had read them in 1 John 3:2. “We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.” (NASB)

This reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:12 which says, “12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV)

I thought again about the day Marc and I went to an ultrasound appointment with Mike and Elizabeth. We gathered around and were amazed as we saw the baby in my daughter’s womb kicking and waving her arms. We also got to hear her heart beating. It was a sweet time that left our hearts yearning to see her clearly and hold her near.

“You saw her dimly in the ultrasound, but now you see her clearly—as she is,” He said softly.

My heart sat down at the well to talk with Him about that. (I love that I can spend time with Him at the well even when I am rocking Lillian.)

“Lord,” I began, speaking softly so as not to disturb the baby sleeping in my arms, “reading your word is a bit like seeing you through an ultrasound.” He waited for me to continue, knowing that my brain sometimes goes on overload when so many thoughts flood it all at the same time.

I gathered up the thoughts and began to share them with Him whom my soul loves.

“When I read Your Word I learn about You. Who You are. What You say. What You do. I see You moving in my life. But I can’t physically see You yet. Spending time with You through Your Word and in prayer and worship is wonderful. But it leaves my heart yearning for the day I will see You as You are. You know…face to face,” I finished.

We sat quietly and I remembered a recent conversation with a friend of mine with whom I had shared that I wanted to write a Conversation about the birth of my granddaughter and being face to face and the promise we have of one day being face to face with the Lord. She had listened to my ramblings and then she said something that I had not considered. She looked straight into my eyes as she said, “Diana, the Lord looks forward to seeing us face to face too. He sees us now, but it is different than the day we will step from time into eternity and He meets us there...”

I closed my eyes trying to imagine the day I would take my last breath on earth and in the next moment take my first breath of the clear, sin free air of heaven. I tried to imagine the Lord waiting there for me, watching my arrival. What would that moment be like? Would I see the dear faces of loved ones who have gone before me or would the face of my Savior be the first I see? What would I do? Would I cry like a baby? Would I jump for joy without my knees and ankles cracking and popping the way grandma’s knees and ankles are apt to do? Would I stand speechless, with tears of unsurpassed joy on my face? Would Jesus enfold me in His arms and whisper words of welcome? Would I fall face down, unable to speak in the presence of Him who gave all so that I could be with Him forever?

I kissed Lillian’s cheek as face to face thoughts turned in my mind and a poem poured into my heart filling it until the words overflowed in worship at the Lord’s feet.

FACE TO FACE
Early morning I walk the path
That leads me to the Well
To spend some time in quietness
Words of life to my heart tell

My head is bent in reverence,
My soul is deeply stirred
As words of life He speaks to me
From the pages of His Word

The eyes of my heart see Him,
With each turning of the page
Eternal truth that does not change
No matter what my age

Tells me of the Savior’s blood
For me a sinner shed
Flowed like a river down splintered cross
Making alive she who once was dead

My heart bows down in worship
Nestled at His nail-pierced feet
As He continues speaking from His Word
I hear the echo of His heartbeat

Images of His glory
Imperfectly now I see
Dipping my heart in Living Waters clear
His reflection looks out at me

Lord, daily meet me in Your Word

Awash in Your marvelous grace

Until earth’s mist is swept from my eyes

And I see You as You are, face to face!

My sweet friend, when was the last time you trod the path to the well of His Word? I urge you to set aside what you are doing and go there now. As you open the pages He will meet you there. You will find that as You read His Word, You will know Him, and you will begin to long for the day you will be in His presence. All the studying, and reading, and seeing Him reflected through the Living Water of His Word will pale in comparison to the moment you step into eternity. There in His presence you will see Him as He is. Face to face.

Joy!

An Original Conversations at the Well

© Copyright by Diana Morgan, June 2, 2012