The Mother-Load

THE MOTHER-LOAD
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
I sat on the steps at the Well, my chin in my hands and my heart full of worrisome “what if” thoughts. I had struck the mother-load -- you know, the load of worries a mother carries when things happen in her children’s lives she has no control over. He came and sat down next to me. “Tell me,” He said simply. I knew He already knew it all, had seen it all, but it helps for worried mother-hearts to pour it all out before Him. “Lord, my Elizabeth was in a car accident. What if…” my voice broke along with my heart and I couldn’t go on. He sat with me, quietly present until I could continue. “I saw her car. It was very bent and broken and I felt so scared inside. Scared of all the things that could be and might be and I wanted to wrap her in my arms; holding her forever in my mother-ness.”
He shared with me how His mother had watched Him walk the road for thirty-three years. “She had many ‘what if’ thoughts too,” He said. I wondered about that: how she bore it, seeing her beloved son suffering so. I wondered if she had thought of the tiny hands that had once rested in hers, now with spikes driven right through. His were wounds of a Savior; wounds a mother could not kiss away. Did it feel to her as though those spikes were driven through her own heart?
He looked deep into my mother-heart then and whispered, “Trust Me.” In the stillness He spoke comfort through His Word.
“Isaiah 40:11 He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart….”
“Psalm 23:1-4: The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His names’ sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me.”
Psalm 62:5-8: “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.”
Jeremiah 31:3: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness”.
Psalm 56:3-4 says this: “When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”
As His Words sank deeply into my heart I felt comforted and strengthened. The world changes but He is the same yesterday, today and forever. My mother-heart could trust in Him; standing firmly on who He is and what He says. As my heart nestled down in peace at His feet, a poem emerged from the deepest place of my heart -- a place reserved for a mother’s love, and I poured my thoughts onto paper.









Elizabeth
Tiny hands rest in mine,
New life held in my arms.
Your daddy watches over you;
keeps you safe from all that harms.

I never will forget that day
Though I grow old the memory shan’t depart;
The day a precious baby girl
arrived to steal my heart.

Our hearts overflowed with love that day;
the sight of you stole our very breath.
Then daddy bent down whispered in your ear
We love you, sweet Elizabeth.

Rolling over, sitting up
Holding daddy’s hand you learned to walk
Baby toys placed upon the shelf
Baby chatter turned to little girl talk.

Roller skates and lady bugs
amidst a mother’s sighs
pigtails dancing in the wind,
mischief in your eyes.

The years sped by, each day you grew
It seemed no time at all
Roller skates and lady bugs
gave way to bat and ball.

Your turn to bat, we gripped our chairs;
we held our very breath.
Crack of bat; “homerun”, coach yells
Oh how we cheered for you, Elizabeth!

Hiking boots and backpacks
replaced the bat and ball
Then to your father’s dread
The boys began to call.

High School years flew by so fast
College graduation came; we scarce could catch our breath
When we heard them call your name
We were so proud, sweet Elizabeth!

Early morning 4 mile run
I find I’m out of breath
Young woman running at my side;
You are my daughter, my friend, my sweet Elizabeth

“I was in a car accident,” you cried.
We listened and held our breath
We held you close and caught your tears
We love you, sweet Elizabeth

Sounds of joy, tears and laughter
echo through the years
Hearts knit together with threads of love;
giving strength to withstand all fears.

Painting a word picture of our love;
the height, the width the depth,
Hearts intertwined bound together by love
For you, sweet Elizabeth.

I left the poem on the steps at the Well with a note written to Him whom my heart loves. “Lord, thank you for my sweet Elizabeth. Please keep her in your care -- don’t let her go even for a moment.
Love,
Diana”
Later in the day I spied the poem in the corner of my heart and saw that He had added verses of His own.

Dear one, I love your daughter too.
Knew her name long before you.
Wove her together; I gave her first breath;
She’s precious to me, sweet Elizabeth.

Loved her so much I just had to come
Thoughts of her were in my last breath
When she is still I whisper across her soul,
“I love you, sweet Elizabeth.”

A mother’s tears fell on the paper and then I felt His presence wrap around me. I leaned against Him so close I could hear His Father heart-beat. I left my mother worries and cares at His feet, trusting Him with my dear daughter and knowing His love far surpassed my own. John 3:16: “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”
That is amazing love; more than enough for all my “what if” mother-heart worries. Dear one, are you carrying a “mother-load” of worries and fears of your own? Pour out your heart in conversation to the Lord.
“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).”