IN THE LAND OF SHADOW

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me (Psalm 23:4).”

The sun sank low until it appeared to sit on the edge of the Sea of Galilee; its light setting the sea aflame with color. The cry of gulls echoed across the sky as fishing boats made their way back to shore where fishermen unloaded their day’s catch and others busily repaired their nets and readied them for the next day’s work. Clouds which had dotted the horizon earlier in the day, now moved in and with them a north wind began to blow, rousing the sea and stirring its surface. Fishermen glanced at the sky and quickened the pace of their work; a storm was brewing.
The wind carried the clouds, their shadows following along as they moved toward town. Shadow and light danced through meadows while wildflowers swayed to the music of the wind. They continued on their way chasing each other up a hillside where a large home stood looking out at the sea. Servants went about their tasks speaking in hushed tones while the wind carried leaves into the courtyard and tugged at their tunics as though trying to get their attention, and the shadows moved softly across their faces, but the servants ignored their efforts and continued with their work.
As though curious, the shadows crept through the courtyard doors into the house; silently moving room to room as they lingered over fine fabrics and opulent furnishings and explored colorful floor coverings until they finally came to her door, and peering inside found they were not alone, as shadows of sickness, worry and fear already filled the room, and another unnamed shadow loomed. The day was fading into evening and the shadows of the darkness to come crept into the room, stealing the light, darkening the corners, and silently made their way toward the bed where Hannah lay. A deep cough racked her body and a man with worry in his eyes and weariness in his bones hurried to her and gently slid his hand under her head, slightly raising it from the pillow as she struggled to breathe; her body convulsed with the effort and then she was quiet again, and he lowered her head back onto the pillow.
He dipped a clean cloth into a jar of water on the table by the bed and tenderly washed her face. “Hannah”, he whispered. Her eyes did not open nor did her lashes so much as flutter at the sound of her father’s voice. He stroked her long black hair and brushed her cheek with his hand as he wondered if he would ever see those dark eyes sparkle with mischief or hear her contagious laughter again. A sudden gust of wind whipped the side of the house, and he quickly rose and pulled the shutter closed and latched it before turning his gaze back to his daughter in hopes that the sound of the storm had stirred her back to consciousness, but her eyes remained closed; her mind and body bound by the illness that would not let her go. The shadows suddenly felt so heavy and oppressive and the sound of the wind beckoned him outside and so he quietly left the room.
He walked down the now empty hall and stopped at the open door of the room he shared with his wife and looked in. Hadassah was curled up on a chaise, eyes closed. Her steady breathing told him she was asleep at last; even in the dim lamp light the dark circles under her eyes were visible, telling of the long days and sleepless nights of constant care given to Hannah, and a mother’s heart, broken to see her child suffer so. He bent and kissed her softly on the forehead, turned and continued toward the courtyard.
He stepped through the open doors; the strong winds made it impossible to have the torches lit, but he was thankful for the darkness and walked to the far end of the courtyard and sat staring out into the night. He looked around the courtyard recalling the huge celebration they had held there just three short months ago, but it seemed an eternity. The celebration was for Hannah’s twelfth birthday and the house was brimming with guests, tables overflowed with wonderful foods, and the air filled with music. Hannah had run up to him begging for a dance, and as he swept her up she began to laugh with such joy.
Echoes of her laughter invaded his memory and he closed his eyes trying to capture the sound, hoping that somehow hearing her in his mind would bring her back, and when he opened his eyes this nightmare would be over and she would be standing there with one hand on her hip, shake a finger at him and tell him he worked too hard, and then the mischief would enter her eyes and she would come running, throw her arms around his neck the way she always did when he came home each evening. But when his eyes opened there was no one there; just overwhelming emptiness and the fierce wind.
He would have danced with her more had he known what was coming. She had been taken ill just a few weeks after her birthday. She was weak and feverish and had no appetite. He was a man of means, but for all his wealth he could not buy her health back. They had been to every sort of specialist they could find but none could help her. She grew weaker and weaker and eleven days ago had begun slipping in and out of consciousness, and had not opened her eyes or shown any sign of response in over three days now. That very morning their physician came and after examining her, shook his head and suggested they make preparation for her burial. Jairus had thrown him out and even now his hands clenched at the memory of those words.
The courtyard seemed to be closing in on him and he felt the need to walk so he got up and headed out into the storm. The wind tore at his tunic and howled around him, drowning out the usual sounds of night. He made his way down the path in the direction of the bluff overlooking the sea. It was Hannah’s favorite spot and she was the recipient of frequent scolding by Hadassah, as she would disappear from her household duties and be found sitting here looking out at the sea. He recalled coming home one afternoon when Hannah was only seven years old, to find Hadassah at her wits’ end as she told him that Hannah had announced she was not going to be married, but instead wanted to work on one of the fishing boats because she was in love with the sea. He laughed at the memory.
Hannah was full of life and adventure and dreams; she did not like to be closed in. The thought of her trapped inside a world of shadows, unable to speak or laugh or cry out or even open her eyes, was more than he could bear. “The great Jairus,” he said with disdain in his voice. He was the elected official over the local Synagogue. He ran the school. He had many people under him. He gave orders and was obeyed without question. He met with the religious leaders. People bowed in respect when they saw him in the streets. He had it all: position, power, wealth, but none of it mattered now. He wondered where God was. He thought about his life; he spent it in service to God, or did he? It was true his days were full of religious activity but did he know God? He felt empty and realized the emptiness had nothing to do with Hannah’s illness; it was something deeper than that.
He stood there on the bluff, the tempest-tossed sea below, the roaring winds buffeting him, and above, the vast heavens shrouded in clouds, and he suddenly felt so very small. A great cry erupted from the very depths of his soul and tears poured from his eyes but the wind snatched even these from him and carried them away. “God, I need you!” he cried, and fell face down on the grass. The words of King David came to mind and he spoke them out loud, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.” His voice trailed off as the truth of those words touched his heart. Yes, he and his family were living in the valley of shadow, and as he thought of these things he didn’t realize that the wind had suddenly stopped and all was still, and he drifted into an exhausted sleep, weary from his battle with shadows; he did not realize that another kind of shadow was there, covering him.
He woke as dawn arrived, and he slowly stood up, all too aware that he was not as young as he once was, and was definitely too old to sleep on the ground. He looked around, hoping no one had seen him lying out there, and made his way up the path to the house. A few of the servants were already at work, but didn’t seem to notice him and his disheveled appearance. He asked for water and a towel and went to wash, and then headed to Hannah’s room. Hadassah was there kneeling by the bed and he quietly joined her there.
“She’s worse,” Hadassah whispered. Jairus moved in closer and knew immediately his wife was right. Hannah’s breathing was labored and shallow; her color had turned from pale to gray and her skin was cold to the touch. “Jairus, do something!” Hadassah pleaded. Jairus ran a hand over his bearded face; a shadow of helplessness descended on him. “I will go for the doctor,” he said and wasted no time leaving the house. He felt weighed down as he walked, knowing deep down that he was on a mission of utter futility, but he continued moving with labored steps, willing his legs to carry him.
As he neared the edge of town he saw a large crowd. What could possibly be going on, he thought to himself. He stood there a moment looking for the best way around, when he overheard someone say a name he had heard many times; although it was usually spoken by the Pharisees through clenched teeth. He heard the name again: “Jesus.” He began maneuvering his way through the crowd. As people recognized him they moved aside, and in a matter of moments he emerged from the crowd and found himself standing face-to-face with Jesus.
As he stood looking into the eyes of Jesus, he suddenly felt so overwhelmed there in His presence. The shadows that had been pursuing him pressed in upon his tired soul, and tears stung his eyes as he realized that he had nowhere else to go but right here, and he fell to his knees at Jesus’ feet. He knelt there in Messiah’s shadow and then slowly raised his eyes.
Jairus knelt there, the pressure in his chest so great he could scarcely breathe, let alone speak, but Jesus stood unhurried; His eyes full of compassion as he waited. Jairus placed his hands on Jesus’ dirt-caked feet and the words came out in a torrent, his voice thick with pain, “My daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.”
Jairus stood up as Jesus nodded that He would go with him, but as they turned to go the crowd suddenly surged forward, pressing in on them, and Jesus stopped and turned toward the crowd. And then He asked the strangest question. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. One of the men with Jesus said, “You see the people crowding around you and yet you ask, who touched me?” Jesus didn’t seem bothered by the question and simply asked again, “Who touched me?”
Jairus felt impatience mixed with fear rising up within him. Time was of the essence and he didn’t understand how someone in the crowd touching Jesus mattered. He wanted to grab hold of Jesus’ tunic and spur Him onward; could one ask the Son of God to hurry, he wondered to himself. As these thoughts ran through his mind a woman suddenly stepped out of the crowd; she looked terrified as she came forward. She knelt down before Jesus and told Him how she had been ill for twelve years, plagued by bleeding, and how she had spent all she had on doctors but no one had been able to make her well. She looked up then and with tears in her eyes she declared it was she who had touched Him, believing that if she could just touch the fringe of His garment she would be healed. As she shared her story Jairus was filled with hope and his heart was greatly encouraged. The crowd was quiet as Jesus spoke to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
While Jesus was still speaking, Jairus recognized some men who worked for him making their way toward him. Their faces were grim and Jairus began to back away as they neared; he did not want to hear what they had to say. “Jairus, your daughter is dead. Why bother the Teacher anymore?”
Death had cast its daunting shadow and had paraded past all Jairus’ possessions; all his wealth, all his servants, and had picked up his precious Hannah and carried her away, claiming victory at last. The words, “why bother,” hung heavy in the air. Jairus stood there as despair engulfed him and sorrow filled him and the weight of his loss threatened to crush him, but Jesus’ voice interrupted his pain as He said, “Jairus, don’t be afraid; just believe.” He tried to focus on Jesus’ words, to take in their meaning, but he felt lost somewhere in the shadows. But in the midst of them, he heard Jesus speaking with authority as He took charge of the situation and commanded everyone to remain there, and then He asked three of his men to go with them to Jairus’ house.
As they neared Jairus’ home they could hear loud wailing; the mourners had gotten word quickly and had shown up in force. The sound was deafening. They stood outside and also filled the courtyard. Jairus pressed past them as he heard Jesus ask the crowd, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” The crowd broke out in laughter but Jesus sent them all out. Jairus hurried to Hannah’s room where Hadassah sat weeping in the corner.
Jairus’ heart broke as he saw Hannah’s lifeless body lying there. He went to his wife and drew her to him and could no longer contain his tears as the shadows of death, grief and sorrow overtook them; but as their world spun out of control, plunging them into darkness, they heard footsteps and suddenly Jesus stepped through the shadows. He walked with purpose in every step as He went to Hannah’s bedside. The words “why bother” still rang in Jairus’ ears as he watched Jesus stretch out his hand; the hand that raised mountains where there was once nothing reached into the shadow lands and took hold of Hannah’s small lifeless one, and His voice that spoke stars into the sky and calmed the fiercest storms thundered through the darkness: “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” Hannah immediately opened her eyes and got up as though she had just woken from a nap. She was not slow in rising nor did she show any signs of illness or even tiredness.
Jairus’ stood as though frozen there; his mind trying to catch up to what his eyes had just seen. He looked at his daughter and then at Jesus and he knew that this was indeed the Messiah, and in that moment the shadows that had plagued his heart for so long began to lift, and he knew that this One, this Messiah, was indeed the only way to God just as He had said, and his heart believed. Sunlight poured through the window as he stepped forward to thank Jesus, and he found himself standing in Jesus’ shadow and wanted nothing more than to remain there. Power, wealth, religious activity; everything faded in comparison to knowing Jesus.
Later, after Jesus had gone, Jairus stood out on the bluff overlooking the sea, the view unobstructed by shadows, and Hannah ran into the arms of her father; and Jairus held her close and felt her heartbeat, and he marveled anew. Jesus spoke, the shadows lifted, and Hannah’s laughter filled the air and they danced.
Last week as I was in my quiet time there were clouds overhead and their shadows seemed to chase the light, and this caused me to wonder about shadows. They are very interesting, don’t you think? My daughter Elizabeth and I go running five mornings a week and we leave the house at about 4:30 when it is still dark. While there are some street lights, there are mostly shadows, and they can change the appearance of things.
A few weeks ago we were running along a particularly dark stretch and a security light on one of the buildings caused shadows to form along the way, and I was certain that I saw a person crouched ahead . My heart definitely began beating a bit faster as my overactive imagination tried to convince me that I should turn and run the other direction. Whoever coined the phrase “with age comes wisdom”, has never met me, because a wise woman would listen to her senses and turn around when she thinks a demented person is lurking in the darkness ahead just waiting to grab her. But I kept running toward the unknown figure and as I drew closer I saw that crouching there in the dark shadows of night was a hideous BUSH! No doubt about it, shadows can distort the way things appear.
As I journeyed through my quiet time that particular afternoon with light and shadow dancing through my living room I wondered what God’s Word had to say about shadows. I grabbed my Bible, a concordance, my journal, a pen; oh, and a cup of coffee and headed off to explore the shadow lands. Grab your supplies and come with me!

Look up: 1 Chronicles 29:15
Psalm 144:4
Job 14:2

What do these verses say we are like?
With these “shadow” images in your mind let’s turn to Mark 5:21 and read through verse 43. Write down any thoughts you have about what is taking place. What shadows do you see in the story? Fear, worry, doubt, etc…
What did Jairus do when He met Jesus? Jairus was an important man and the religious leaders would have frowned – to put it mildly – to see an elected religious official bowing to Jesus. Can you hear the pain in Jairus’ words? First, he fell at Jesus’ feet. He humbled himself. He could have walked up and tried to impress Jesus with his wealth – maybe try to pay him to come but instead he fell down at His feet and he pleaded with Jesus to go to his house and place his hands on his daughter so she would live. He had just heard the amazing testimony of the woman who had been healed after 12 years of suffering and doctor hopping. He could relate to her story. I can’t help but think his heart must have been strengthened in the hearing of it.
Put yourself in Jairus’ place. You are worried about your child whose life hangs in the balance. Jesus has agreed to go home with you but He stops before you even get started and asks what appears to be a ridiculous question in the middle of a big crowd, “Who touched me?”. What would you have felt? He receives the worst news a parent can ever hear. I picture him reeling with the hearing of it as though struck with a physical blow. What did the men ask him at the end of verse 35? Why bother? It’s over. It’s done. Go home. Give up. Death has had the final word.
Why bother? Has anyone ever said these words to you? Perhaps you have said them to yourself. You sign up for those AA meetings and before you hit the door the voice comes, “You are an alcoholic and you will always be an alcoholic. Why bother?” You are trying to learn some tools to deal with anger but you tell yourself, “My mother had a temper and so did her mother and her mother; so why bother?” “My child will never come to know Christ. Every time they start to make a move toward Jesus someone comes and pushes them away. Why should I keep trying; they’ve made their choice. The enemy has won. Why bother?” “I’m hopeless. I’ve gone too far this time and there is no way back. My life is ruined; my reputation gone; my marriage broken. Why bother?”
JESUS BOTHERED!! Write down whatever the shadow is that you are in right now. And then I want you to read Jesus’ response to those words in verse 36. Write it down. Put your name in it. Jesus said, “Diana, don’t be afraid; just believe.” My friend, when the shadows come, run to Jesus. Fall at His feet and place your hands on his dirt-caked, nail-pierced feet and raise your eyes to His and ask Him; trust Him, rely on Him.
In verse 39 what does Jesus ask the mourners? There is so much going on in this passage. I found it very interesting that the night before (Mark 4:35-41) is when Jesus calmed the storm and the disciples had been terrified – it appeared they were going to die and that Jesus did not care. Now, back up to Mark 4 and read verse 40. Do you catch the similarity? What are you wailing about? Why is your faith so small? I Am is with you.
What did the mourners do? Yep, they laughed. I picture big old belly laughs not just giggling. They must have thought Jesus had lost his mind. There were plenty of people who thought he was possessed and this statement probably didn’t help. Jesus wasn’t distracted by what they thought. Her healing was complete and it was immediate. She didn’t wheeze, cough, limp or show signs of grogginess. She was WELL. Jesus didn’t sort of, kind of raise her from the dead or almost do it. No one had to resuscitate her a few times; she was completely well.
Jesus walked into their shadow lands and brought healing, restoration and wholeness and He wants to do the same for you. Isaiah 51:16 says this: “I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand – I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, You are my people.”
Oh beloved, are you languishing in the shadow lands? Do you hear them: the footsteps of He who loves you. He strides through the shadows, with His hand outstretched and He says, “Dear daughter, I have covered you with the shadow of my hand -- I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth and who says to you, you are my daughter.” His voice thunders through the darkness and He says, “Daughter, get up.”
The next time you are peering through dark shadows and you are certain you see something ominous and scary and the temptation to say “Why bother” grips you; run! Run to the truth of God’s Word. Run to the feet of Jesus; get so close to Him that you can touch His dirt-caked, nail-pierced feet and then as you are kneeling there, lift your eyes to His.
Read these words that Paul penned so long ago and let the truth penetrate the shadows with its light. “These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ” (Colossians 2:17).

An Original Conversations at the Well
By Diana Morgan
Copyright 2009