God is seated on His holy throne. (Psalm 47:8 NIV)
I set my things down on my desk, and looked at the door leading into the next office. It was closed, the room behind it dark. There was no thumping of computer keys by sure fingers fashioning the outline notes for the weekend service. No “whish” of his golf club swinging as he pondered the week’s message or wrestled with current issues. No office banter. No sound of pages turning. No shout of “Good morning.” No funny puns. No request to go hunting for funny eyeballs to use as a visual aid in his lesson. No tales from Murdo or recollections from his days in Omaha. No talk of plans for the future. No meetings to schedule. No seeing him bent over his Bible and commentaries deep in study. No calendar to update. No request to call the help desk to solve the latest computer glitch. No familiar laugh. No sound at all; only deafening silence, reminding me that things were different. There was an unfamiliar emptiness and it caused my heart to ache.
I opened the door and stood surveying the room. The walls that once held family pictures now held empty nails. The place on the desk where his coffee cup always sat was empty. There were no doughnut holes waiting to be enjoyed as he began the day. I sat down in the “fancy” chair, as Pastor Bob called it, across from the desk where he had so diligently and faithfully worked for seven years.
My eyes settled on the empty desk chair and my heart cried out.
“Who is going to sit in that chair?”
“I AM.”
Startled, my heart looked up to find the One who is the same yesterday, today and forever, sitting in the chair.
“I didn’t want him to go,” I whispered, my heart breaking.
My heart studied His eyes as He gently said, “My disciples didn’t want me to go either when I had to go away. But if I hadn’t gone away from them, the Comforter could not come.”
I thought about that a moment and wondered what those men had felt and thought as their beloved friend and Teacher was about to leave them, disappearing from their sight in a cloud. I was quite certain had I been there I would have said, “Lord, I don’t want the Comforter. I want You.” Of course, on this side, it is clear that God’s plan was best. What would we do without the Holy Spirit dwelling in us?
Pastor Bob hadn’t been taken in a cloud, I had stood at the office window and watched as he disappeared from view in his little brown pickup, but it felt like a cloud. A cloud of uncertainty of what was next; not only for me and the church, but for him and Ruthie.
“I AM.”
His voice thundered through my soul, clearing the doubt clouds, and reminding me that He is on the throne. His plan cannot be thwarted. When He speaks, so it is. I could rest in Him. The same I AM that went with Moses was with Pastor Bob and Ruthie, and with me, and His church.
Turning my attention back to the chair, uncertainty washed over me once again. “Lord,” I said softly. “Everything feels so unsettled. I mean, before it was clear who I worked for. Pastor Bob sat in the very chair You are sitting in. And now…now, well, it’s empty.”
He took me to Colossians 3:23-24. I asked Him to read it to me. It’s always better when He speaks.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know, that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
His Words covered my heart like soothing balm. My boss was the Lord, and had been all along. That had not changed. I still missed my earthly boss and friend, but knowing the Lord was in charge eased my mind and comforted my hurting heart.
“Talk to Me,” He said. I bowed my head and talked to Him who knows all and holds everything together. I talked to Him about Bob and Ruthie, the Church as a whole, Southwest Community Church, the Leadership Team. And then, though it hurt a bit, I talked to Him about “next”. It’s not easy when your heart is breaking over the “now”. I prayed for the man who was out there being prepared to come here. I wondered if he had any idea that his world was about to be shaken up. I prayed about the “next” for Bob and Ruthie, and I chuckled a bit as I wondered if the people God was sending them to had any idea how they were about to be blessed. When I was done, I felt strangely helped. Talking to Him does that, you know. It wasn’t about me. It wasn’t even about Southwest Community Church. It was all about Him and His plan that He was working out. And it’s a plan too big for human hearts to fully grasp. But He has it all in hand, and that feels good to know.
I stood to return to my desk and begin the work day. I turned to thank Him for talking with me, but He had gone. I stood looking at the chair and a smile touched the corner of my lips as I realized He wasn’t gone, the Lord was head of the Church, and I could go about my tasks with confidence as to whom I was doing them for, knowing that the Lord is firmly seated in the Boss’s chair.
An Original Conversations at the Well
© Copyright by Diana Morgan July 20, 2011
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