THE LIGHT IS ON
You have placed our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your presence.
(Psalm 90:8 NASB)
Have you ever been trying to fall asleep but find yourself unable to do so as you realize someone has left a light on? I can relate.
It was late when I finally climbed into bed looking forward to a good night’s sleep. The minutes ticked by and still my eyes were open. I plumped my pillow, changed positions and lay back down. Nope. Still awake. It was then I realized the problem. Someone had left a light on.
But it wasn’t the hall light, or the bathroom light, or even the patio light that was keeping me awake. No, this was a different kind of light; an inside light. I recognized it and pulled the sheet over my head in an effort to hide, but it was no use. I could not hide as the third person of the Trinity shed the light of God’s Truth in my heart, revealing the ugly thing lurking there. Uggggh. I got up and headed down the hall, the Truth Light seeming to shine brighter as I made my way through the darkness.
I arrived at the big overstuffed chair in the living room which I referred to as the “Well” and sat down. I looked around at the familiar surroundings of my favorite meeting place with the Lord. I didn’t see Him, so decided to take a look at the thing that earlier in the day had seemed so small, and yet was causing a ruckus of the soul.
“Sin does that,” a familiar voice said.
Startled, my heart found itself standing in the light of His Presence. I was suddenly very aware of His holiness and my sin. Oh, I knew He had paid the penalty for my sin on the cross. All of them – even those I hadn’t committed yet. This was not a salvation issue. No, this was a relationship issue. Our normal fellowship was interrupted, sin was in the way. I knew what I needed to do.
“Tell Me,” He whispered softly in the stillness of night.
My heart broke at the sound of His voice. He always pursued me first. As I marveled at that reality, I knelt at His feet and told Him all about the words I had spoken earlier that day. Words I should not have said, but did. I knew the moment they left my lips that they were wrong, but I couldn’t take them back. They were out there. I had walked away from the three people I was talking to knowing I should correct what had just happened, but instead I buried the sin that had sprouted in my heart, trying to ignore it. But the Lord never ignores sin – EVER.
There on my knees, my heart dragged the sin out into the Light and I confessed it to Him. Then, true to His Word, He cleansed me.
My soul breathed in the sweet air of forgiveness as we sat together with nothing hindering our conversation. I sat quietly reveling in His presence when a thought entered my head, causing me to open my eyes and jerk to attention. My heart became restless under His steady gaze and I knew He had placed the thought there.
“Oh Lord. Please don’t ask me to do that,” I cried.
But it was no use. He was asking me to confess to the three I had said the words to and ask their forgiveness. Yikes!
He was not impressed with my many reasons for not revealing my sin to the three people. I finally fell silent and in the quiet words He had told James to write down came to mind, “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” (James 4:17)
Oh bother! I shuffled down the hall to bed where I tossed and turned until dawn.
I went running, but there was no running away from what God wanted me to do. As I ran past the lake Jonah came to mind, and I quickly glanced at the water half expecting a big fish to jump out and swallow me.
Returning home from my exercise routine, I carried my cell phone to the living room and sat down and called my husband. I was hoping he would tell me I was nuts and of course I didn’t need to tell the people involved. But he didn’t say that at all. Instead, he said out loud what the Lord had impressed on my heart to do. There was no getting around it now. To ignore it was to disobey God. Actually, I knew I had already disobeyed Him in my attempts to squirm out of doing what He clearly had said to do.
I knew I had run out of excuses. “Okay, Lord,” I said. “Help me to do this. Amen.”
I sat a moment, wanting to give God time to tell me He just wanted me to be willing and that I didn’t have to do it after all. But He didn’t.
I opened my cell phone and texted all three people and asked if they could meet me before the workday got started. One by one the replies came back that they would meet me. A short time later I headed off to work with sweaty palms. As I drove, I consoled myself with knowing that at least all three would be there at once so I could get it over with quickly.
The first person arrived, and we waited a few moments, but no one else came. Awkward! I took a deep breath, and confessed and asked forgiveness. Then the second person arrived. Are you kidding me?! Again, we waited but the third person did not come, and so I plowed ahead and for a second time, lay my sin out there, confessed it and asked forgiveness. No sooner had they left then the third person arrived. No way!! For a third time, I revealed my sin and confessed it and asked forgiveness. I am happy to say that all three graciously forgave me.
After they left, I leaned back in my chair and pondered what had just taken place. Three times!!!! Why was my heart so slow to obey? In that moment I thought of Peter denying Jesus three times, and then later, Jesus had restored Peter, asking him three times, “Peter, do you love Me?” It struck me full force then that in trying to minimize, rationalize, hide and ignore my sin, and then to hesitate in obeying Him, I was denying Him.
He took my broken heart to His Word then and we read together.
5 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth;7 but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.8 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.
1 John 1:5-10 (NASB)
I heard my Savior’s voice in the stillness ask, “Diana, do you love Me?” Tears came as I said, “Lord, I love you.” I thought about the Light that had stirred me to wakefulness, and I was filled with thanks as I added, “And Lord?”
“Hmmm?” He replied.
“Thank You for keeping the Light on.”
My friend how is your relationship with the Lord? Have you felt there is something in the way? Does He feel distant? Has the Holy Spirit turned on the floodlight of Truth and you are losing sleep? Is there a ruckus of the soul going on in you? Is there something you need to deal with? Some sin you have buried in a corner of your heart. Are you telling yourself that it’s so small that it doesn’t matter? Is the Light keeping you awake? Don’t wait another moment. Drag it out. Take it to Him. Confess it. If you know Him, it’s not a salvation issue, but it is a relationship issue. He is faithful and will cleanse you from all unrighteousness.
Then ask the Lord to show you if there is someone you need to go to and confess your sin to and ask their forgiveness? Don’t pull a “Diana”. Go and take care of it. The Lord will go with you. He will give you the strength and the courage and the words to do what is right.
An Original Conversations at the Well
Copyright by Diana Morgan
June 18, 2011
Let’s end our time by reading the wonderful words found in the hymn Come Thou Fount.
1 Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.
2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.
3. O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.
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