BETHLEHEM
…in your light we see light. Psalm 36:9
It was dark and there was a chill in the air as I headed to the well. I stopped and lit a spiced cider candle before taking my place. I watched the flame dance and the warmth of the fragrance was soft and inviting. I opened His Book and read Psalm 36 and suddenly and without warning these words jumped off the page and into my heart, “in Your light we see light.” I looked up to see Him whom my soul loves looking at the candle and I smiled as I saw the Light of the world bathed in the soft glow of the candlelight and then my heart got all excited and breathless as it raced back to Psalm 36:9 and read again, “in Your light we see light.” I could not contain myself as my heart looked up at Him again and said, “In Your light I see light.” I could tell by the light dancing in His eyes that He had arranged this moment for me and He came and took a seat very near me at the Well and His presence enveloped me there in the light.
He took me to Isaiah 9:2 and I read it slowly (that’s the best way to read His Word), “The people who walk in darkness will see a great light – a light that will shine on all who live in the land where death casts its shadow.” (NLT) I sat wondering about this light the people in the dark would see and where exactly the light came from and then I stopped in verse 6 as we read together, “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. And the government will rest on His shoulders. These will be His royal titles: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His ever expanding, peaceful government will never end. He will rule forever with fairness and justice from the throne of His ancestor David. The passionate commitment of the Lord Almighty will guarantee this!”
My heart looked into His eyes as I whispered in the stillness, “You are the light that shines on those who live in the land where death casts it shadow. These verses are talking about your birth, aren’t they?” He nodded quietly and my heart caught a reflection of memories from eternity past shining in the eyes of Him whom my soul loves. I wondered then if the angels decorated for Christmas. Did they hang a wreath on Heaven’s door or put up Christmas lights? Did Heaven celebrate the day He laid aside His glory and took on the helplessness of a newborn? Did Jesus followers who had already walked across Heaven’s threshold light candles and sing to Him about that day while angels stand in silent awe of the very wonder of such love by the Creator that He would take on the form of the created? As I sat in the stillness my heart thought it heard echoes of the joyful celebration intertwined with awe and wonder thundering from Heaven.
I wondered if it was the voices of angels my heart heard and if so were they the same angels who had proclaimed Jesus’ birth to a group of shepherds in the fields outside Bethlehem? “What of everyone else? Where were the people of Bethlehem? Didn’t they hear the voices of Angels proclaiming the birth of Him who came to die? Wouldn’t the sound of thousands of Heaven’s warriors singing praise to God travel through the streets of Bethlehem? Did anyone stop even for a moment, tilt their head and wonder what the sound was? Where were they?” I thought to myself. “They didn’t have room,” He said, following my thoughts.
I turned His words over and over in my mind and I realized things hadn’t changed much. My thoughts turned to Christmas lights and I thought about all the different lights of the season: Christmas lights that adorn people’s homes; Christmas tree lights that shine and twinkle and add warmth to evenings with family as they gather around the Christmas tree. The soft glow of candlelight for Christmas parties with co-workers and friends and family as their laughter fills the air. Lights shine from department store windows as frazzled and harried shoppers rush about, cramming one more thing into one more moment in one more hour of one more day. Budgets strain, heads pound, rest is scarce and hearts cry out in the midst of Christmas carols and sleigh bells. All the while, standing unseen by human eyes, the Angels are still proclaiming the Good News! I thought how easily we are distracted by “world-lights” and we miss Him. “No room,” He repeated.
As the flame of the candle danced, my heart nestled quietly at His feet and there in the Light of His Presence He began to share a story with me (He is the Master Storyteller, you know). It was a story of Christmas. As He began to weave the threads of the story into my heart I knew I needed to write it down so I opened my laptop and my fingers danced across the keyboard as He spoke.
The alarm rudely interrupted her sleep and she fumbled in the darkness until her fingers found the off button. Silence filled the house once again with the exception of Andy’s soft snoring. Beth groaned as she sat up. “How on earth had she allowed herself to be talked into this?” she wondered to herself as she headed to the shower. She stood in the shower willing herself to wake up as she recalled the conversation with her friends; the same conversation they had every year, and every year Beth laughed, told them they were crazy and then declined their offer.
She hurried from the bathroom to the closet where she quickly pulled on jeans and a sweater, selected comfortable shoes and sat down on the edge of the bed to put them on. She glanced at the clock; the illuminated numbers mocked her as they announced the time: 3:55 AM! Could it have really been just seven hours ago that she and Andy, Richard, Julie, Amy and John had sat in the living room downstairs sipping coffee in front of the fire after a wonderful Thanksgiving meal? Amy and Julie began talking about all the great bargains they were going to find on their annual shopping trip the next day and Beth could see the invitation coming. She had sat next to Andy giggling, already preparing to decline when she heard Andy say what a good idea he thought it was. After all, money was a bit tight and it wouldn’t hurt to get in on some bargains. “If it’s such a great idea why am I the one going shopping in the middle of the night?” she whispered. The only reply was Andy’s snoring. She pulled on her coat just as a car pulled into the driveway. She peered through the blinds and saw Amy walking to the front door, so grabbing her purse she kissed Andy’s cheek and switched off the light as she headed downstairs.
Beth opened the front door to find Amy standing on her doorstep smiling, holding out a travel mug with a bright red ribbon tied to the handle. “I come bearing gifts,” Amy said with a soft laugh. “It’s too early even for coffee,” Beth moaned as she stepped outside and turned to lock the front door. Amy’s cheerfulness wasn’t dampened in the least by her friend’s lack of enthusiasm. She continued holding out the mug to her friend as she said, “It’s Starbuck’s Christmas Blend. I ground it myself this morning. I even used your favorite creamer: toffee nut. But wait, there’s more. I also added just a sprinkling of ground cinnamon on top. Come on grumpy, take a sip,” Amy urged. “I now know why it is called Black Friday,” Beth said as she took the mug from her friend. “Do tell,” Amy said as they walked to the car. “Because it’s black outside which matches my mood,” Beth quipped as she climbed into the backseat.
Amy and Julie chatted cheerfully as Beth sat quietly in the backseat. She thought about all the things at home she had planned to accomplish that day and wouldn’t get to and would either not get done at all or be pushed to another timeslot. But where would she find time in a schedule in which every moment was already filled? “There’s no room,” she thought to herself. Beth’s mind began racing through the days ahead which were filled to the brim with the tasks of the Season. Her insides suddenly felt as if they were in a vice being squeezed as she ran down her mental calendar. There was a school field trip to the food bank downtown to show the kids how food was distributed to the needy. Then there were two school programs to attend, Andy’s staff Christmas party given by his employer, a family Christmas party at Andy’s parents’ house and the church Christmas pageant, their small group Christmas party at their house, and then she had agreed to help Amy at the local rescue mission on Christmas Eve immediately followed by the Candlelight service at church, and then, finally, Christmas Day. All of this was added on top of the usual day-to-day activities of family life. Then there was the added stress of the economic crunch which was now being felt in their life. As a result of layoffs at Andy’s place of employment his workload had increased but his benefits had been reduced. She sat surveying her life, “no room,” she whispered into the darkness.
She was brought back to the here and now as Amy pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot where a crowd of shoppers had already congregated at the doors waiting for them to open. Beth got out of the car and decided to try and enjoy herself as the three friends spent the morning shopping together. By eleven o’clock they had each nearly completed their shopping. Julie spotted a Panera and they decided this would be a good time to stop for lunch.
“So,” Amy began, “are you all ready to begin the Advent activities?” All three of them had purchased Advent calendars. Julie and Amy each shared various activities they already had planned and then they looked at Beth eager to hear what Advent plans she had made. “Well?” Julie enquired. Beth looked down at her fork as she confessed that the Advent package was still in its box, unopened. Amy and Julie sat looking at their friend, expressions of concern in their faces. Tears sprang into Beth’s eyes as she felt the internal vice tighten. “No room,” was all she could manage to say.
A few hours later Amy helped Beth carry her packages from the car into the house. Amy gave Beth a big “I love you friend” hug before she headed home. Beth closed the front door and didn’t see her friend sitting in the front seat of her car with her head bowed having a conversation with her Heavenly Father about a dearly loved friend and sister in Christ who had found herself with no room. A few hours later found Beth lying exhausted in bed and yet unable to sleep. Her thoughts were racing around and around in her head leaving no room for rest or even the ability to carry it all to the Lord. “No room,” she whispered. Sometime in the wee hours a troubled sleep came.
The weeks passed and Beth ticked off the activities on the calendar as each came and went. The week before Christmas Beth was heading out the door to one more meeting when Andy asked her why the Nativity had not been set out yet. Beth turned and looked at the place on the mantle where the Nativity usually sat, she felt that internal vice tighten another couple of notches as she mumbled under her breath, “No room.” She arrived home late and the kids were already in bed and Andy had fallen asleep on the couch. She got ready for bed and went back downstairs to clean things up and get ready for the next day’s activities when she noticed Andy had set the Nativity out on the mantle.
The fire snapped and crackled cheerfully in the fireplace inviting her to rest a while. She stood there looking at the figures and realized she simply wanted Christmas to be over. She was tired of the endless lists of things that had to get done and places she had to be and deadlines she had to meet and she knew she had been standing there when she should have been doing things – there was no room in her day for standing and looking at Nativity scenes. No room for rest. “No room,” she whispered as she walked off to her next task.
Christmas Eve arrived and Beth pulled into an empty parking space in front of the Rescue Mission. She spotted Amy’s car a few spots over and headed to the entrance as she glanced at her watch. She hoped all would go smoothly as there was no room in her schedule for anything unplanned. They were supposed to finish serving dinner and wrapping gifts at the Mission by 6:30 which would leave Beth just enough time to go home, clean up and go to church with her family for the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service at 8:00.
Amy and Beth worked hard cooking in the kitchen and then served food for two hours straight. The next shift of servers arrived to relieve them and Beth headed toward the gift wrap area where she would spend her final hour at the mission wrapping gifts for the many people who would be spending Christmas there. Suddenly the air seemed stifling and Beth decided to step outside for a moment or two for some fresh air. She stepped through the rear door into a small courtyard behind the mission. The air was cold but welcome. Beth closed her eyes for a moment, leaning her head against the stone wall.
“Are you alright?” A man’s voice interrupted Beth’s quiet moment. She opened her eyes and found herself looking up at a tall, middle-aged man with a scruffy looking beard and ragged clothes. “I am fine. Just getting a little air,” Beth replied as she turned to head back inside. “The name’s Gabriel,” the man said as he extended his hand. Beth pretended not to notice his friendly gesture and reached for the doorknob as she said, “I really need to get back. There’s so much left to do.” Gabriel stepped closer and reached the door first and held it open for her as he said, “Can you come to the Christmas play we are doing tonight?” Beth tried to hide her surprise as she wondered what type of Christmas play this raggedy man would be in as she quickly replied, “No. I couldn’t possibly. No room,” she finished as she disappeared through the door and quickly headed to the gift wrap area. She glanced around the room and didn’t see Gabriel anywhere and assumed he had probably gone to the dining hall. She quickly put him out of her thoughts as she wrapped Christmas presents.
An hour later found Beth walking to her car wondering where the joy was she was supposed to feel – especially this time of year. But she didn’t feel joy. She reached her car and stood there a moment in the dark wrestling with something inside that was threatening to consume her. What was it she felt exactly? She closed her eyes and turned her face heavenward just as the first snowflakes began to gently fall and as they began kissing her face leaving droplets of moisture on her cheeks she realized what she felt inside: dry. “Oh Father, please help me,” she whispered into the darkness as she opened her car door and climbed inside, unaware that her prayer was heard long before it ever left her lips and help was waiting just down the road.
Beth pulled out of the parking lot onto the two lane road toward home. The snow was falling more heavily and she slowed her car as she entered a sharp curve. As she made the turn a deer suddenly sprang from the darkness directly in front of her and Beth slammed on the brakes, her car skidding to a stop as she heard a loud noise coming from her car. She sat clutching the steering wheel, her heart beating wildly as the deer stood staring at her in the headlights and then bounded off leaving her there to deal with this on her own. “Great!” she exclaimed as she rummaged through the glove box for the flashlight. She snapped the flashlight on, opened the car door and got out and walked to the other side of her car. Just as she feared, the rear passenger side tire was flat as a pancake. She walked back to the driver side, grabbed her cell phone from the center console to call the Auto Club but was unable to get a signal. “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!” she yelled into the darkness to no one in particular.
“Are you alright?” a familiar voice asked. Startled, Beth pointed her flashlight in the direction of the voice and found Gabriel standing across the road. “Wh-what are you doing out here, Gabriel?” Beth asked nervously. Gabriel smiled as he explained, “We are having our Christmas play right over here in this field. You are invited, Beth.” He finished gently. Beth couldn’t remember telling him her name and it gave her an odd, unsettled feeling. She glanced at her watch as she said, “Sorry, Gabriel. I have to see to my car and then I have someplace to be and…” her voice trailed off and she heard Gabriel’s voice right next to her softly say, “I know Beth, you have no room.”
She turned around expecting Gabriel to be standing right behind her but was surprised to see he was still across the road. She stood shivering by her car, a puzzled look on her face as Gabriel said, “Don’t worry about your tire, Beth. Come,” he invited. She stood there shivering as she wrestled over what she should do. A thought occurred to her then that perhaps she could get a phone signal out in the field so she made her decision and quickly grabbed her car keys and her cell phone, shut the driver’s door and hit the lock button and headed across the street, hoping she wasn’t acting foolishly and that Gabriel wasn’t crazy.
It had stopped snowing and they walked together in silence, the fallen snow crunching under their feet. Beth stole a sideways glance at the odd man walking beside her. “He must be seven feet tall,” she mused to herself. He was in need of a haircut and a shave. His clothes were tattered and obviously meant for someone a bit shorter. She looked down at his shoes; they were mismatched. As she looked at his feet something else struck her; something about his walk. Yes, he walked with purpose; like he knew where he was going and what to do when got there. “Odd,” she thought to herself. She decided to ask a question that had come to mind when he had first mentioned the play, “What part do you have in the Christmas play?” she asked. “I’m a messenger,” He said quietly. “You mean you play an angel?” she asked. “Something like that,” He said. Beth looked up at him and thought she saw something flash in his eyes but quickly dismissed the thought as they came through a cluster of trees into an open field.
Movement caught her eye and she could make out sheep through the darkness their gentle bleating breaking the stillness. She could also see several small campfires dotting the field and men huddled around them, some stretching their hands toward the flames to keep warm. Beth looked at Gabriel as she asked, “Shepherds?” “Yes,” came the one word reply. Gabriel seated Beth at a small campfire. He handed her a wool blanket which she gladly put over her legs. He pulled something from his coat pocket and handed it to her as he said, “It’s the script. You can read along, if you like.” She looked down and saw that he had handed her a Bible. It fell open to the book of Luke. She was about to say something but when she looked up Gabriel was headed in the direction of the shepherds.
Beth began to read the text, “There were shepherds in a field outside of Bethlehem, tending their flocks by night.” She looked up as her eyes took in the scene before her, “Shepherds tending their flocks by night,” she whispered. It was then she noticed Gabriel standing near a group of shepherds. “But when did he have time to change?” she wondered out loud. He was clothed in white and looked quite impressive as she took in the realistic looks of fear mixed with awe on the faces of the shepherds. She looked down, following the words of Gabriel’s announcement to the Shepherds and looked up as the words came to life in the field before her very eyes.
Nothing prepared her for what happened next. All of a sudden the field shown brilliant as what appeared to be an army of men all every bit as tall as Gabriel and they were singing a song she had never heard before – it was a song of praise to God and the very ground beneath her seemed to reverberate with the sound of their joy. “Oh!” she cried. “But how…who…?” was all she could manage. Then just as suddenly as they had appeared they vanished and the field was cloaked in a strange silence.
The air was electric as she heard the shepherds’ excited tones and then they all began running. She read the text out loud, “They ran to the village and found Mary and Joseph and there was the baby lying in the manger.” She looked up to see the shepherds slow their pace as they approached what appeared to be a hollowed out place in the hillside. She caught a glimpse of firelight and a young man and woman sitting in its warmth. The shepherds stood peering inside when she heard it – a baby’s cry through the night. Beth saw a tiny hand extend up out of the feeding trough and the young woman brushed a tear from her cheek as she motioned the shepherds to come near.
As Beth sat riveted to the scene the young woman lifted the baby out of the manger. He was wrapped in strips of cloth, “just as the angel said,” Beth whispered. Something on the hillside above them caught her eye and she looked up just as the clouds lifted, revealing the hilltop and on it stood a cross. She caught her breath as she stood looking from the manger to the cross the tears flowing down her cheeks as a familiar voice softly asked, “Beth, do you have room?” She went to her knees in the middle of that field and talked to the Lord about her heart that she had allowed to become so busy that she had run out of room: no room to sit with Him, no room to read His Word, no room to sit in His presence.
Gabriel helped her up and she smiled as she noticed he was wearing his tattered clothes and mismatched shoes again. As they walked back toward her car it began to snow again and as she turned her face heavenward and the snowflakes gently kissed her face, leaving tiny drops of moisture on her cheeks, she realized she wasn’t dry on the inside anymore. Her once dry heart was drenched in joy. They arrived at the car and she stopped and stared. She turned a puzzled look at Gabriel. “Look at that,” he said, “someone fixed your tire.” Gabriel helped her into her car and before he closed the door she reached out and took his hand in hers. She couldn’t speak and he simply nodded and then closed her door.
She glanced at her watch and then out the window, intending to wave goodbye to Gabriel but he was gone. She pulled her cell phone from her coat pocket. “That’s funny,” she thought, “My cell phone has full power now.” She shrugged and called Andy and quickly told him about the flat tire and that she would just meet him at church. Then she dialed Amy’s number. She answered on the third ring and Beth told her how much she enjoyed the Christmas play the mission had put on and she hoped they would do it again and that Gabriel made an excellent angel. “Amy?” Beth said into the silence. Amy sounded confused as she answered, “Beth, I don’t have any idea what you are talking about. The mission didn’t do any Christmas plays. And Beth, there’s no one at the mission named Gabriel.” Beth set her phone down on the seat, her heart overwhelmed within her.
Fifteen minutes later she pulled into the church parking lot. She hurried inside and spotted Andy and the kids sitting in the third row. Andy squeezed her hand as she sat down and then kissed her cheek as he whispered, “I love you, Beth.” Then he reached over and pulled something from her hair as he whispered, “Beth, where on earth have you been?” She looked at the piece of straw Andy held in his fingers and she smiled as she said, “I’ve been to Bethlehem.”
I closed my laptop and through my tears whispered, “Lord, thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for going from the manger to the cross for me. Forgive me for the times I didn’t have room for you. Help me never to lose sight of who you are and why you came. When I am distracted by the world-lights will you take me back to Bethlehem? My heart looked into the eyes of Love as His voice thundered through my soul, “I will beloved. I will.”
An Original Conversations at the Well
Diana Morgan
© Copyright December 7, 2009
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